Monday, November 24, 2008


I finally finished my book! I feel so much better now that I actually did it. I know, it seemed like it took forever.

I saw Twilight this weekend and loved everything about it except Kristen Stewart. I think she is just annoying. If she could breathe normally and without looking like she is going to vomit, I would have been a very happy girl. I went with my bff and we were the oldest people in the theater by at least 10 years. We were SURROUNDED by tweens, it was horrible. They clapped and talked during the WHOLE movie. The best part about it was after the movie was over, my friend and I went to go to a bar to watch the Terps kick ass in basketball. All the little girls were saying how they were going to get ice cream until their friends parents picked them up so they can get ripped off of some Goldschlager. Did I mention that it was 28 degrees here Friday night so naturally I would have gone for ice cream too, losers. So my friend and I, being the assholes that we are, stated very loudly that we were going to go get some beers. The tweens pouted. Me - 1, Tweens - 0.

Okay, I am working from home today so naturally I am in front of the TV since we JUST got HD last week. I know, we are behind. For some reason I turned on The View and it reminded me how much I HATE Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Whoopi was trying to say something and it took her 5 whole minutes to get out one sentence because Elisabeth kept interrupting her. BTW, love the HD. I even got a friend to hook up the Xbox 360 in HD and Guitar Hero looks awesome! I think I may play some Tiger Woods golf tonight just to see how it looks. OMG Tony Bennett looks HORRIBLE in HD. I know he's old but good god.

Time to do some laundry. I have about 8 loads to fold so naturally I am procrastinating. Oh, I totally forgot. My white trash neighbors moved!!! I am so excited that my hallway won't reek of smoke anymore and I won't see her standing in her muu muu to get the mail. I just feel bad for their kids, they smoke in front of them all the time, in their place, at the playground, while taking a walk, you name it. I am going to miss coming up the street and see them hanging out on their sofa in FRONT of their garage, on the street itself.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Oh winter, how I love thee...

Some of you may have noticed that I have not posted in a while. Or maybe you didn't. The reason I haven't? Did I finally finish my book? Did I do something meaningful like donate old clothes to the Salvation Army? Did I spend quality time with family and friends? Did my man take me out by surprise?

I did NOT finish my book. Yet. I am in the middle of organizing/cleaning out the closets in the house and gathering things to donate to the Goodwill and Salvation Army so I am still in the process. I spent quality time with friends and family since we had them over for football/guitar hero battles on Sunday (I totally rock - on medium). And my man surprised me Saturday night and took me out to dinner sans little man. It was quite productive if I say so myself.

I was trying to get everything done by the first snow, but alas, I have failed. It snowed while at work today. It was only flurries but to me that still counts. Nothing stuck to the ground, but I still hope. I hope that we get covered in snow. Everything just looks so much prettier with the first real snow. People here in MD freak out like the apocolypse is coming if the weatherman calls for an INCH. But I think that is what I love about it. Just knowing that my mother will be one of the crazy people in line to get bread, eggs and toilet paper gives me sheer joy. It means that winter is here.

So tonight I am planning on locking myself in the bathroom after dinner to 1. clean it in peace, 2. dye my hair, 3. read while the color sets and 4. get away from guitar hero practice and High School Musical 2. Even though Zac Efron is HOT, I can not watch him sing and dance, even on mute. My little one is obsessed with this movie, which by the way was not purchased by us, but by my in-laws. I need girl time, I need sanity, and I need a room that has that. Oddly enough it's the bathroom for me. I have all of my makeup in there so in between chapters I can try the new mascara I just got and see how many different ways I can make myself hotter for my mans company party this weekend. Hopefully I will at least finish my book.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Why I have YET to finish my book

And the reasons are: Celebrity Rehab, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Intervention On Demand and laundry that seems never ending. Let's discuss these ridiculous shows shall we...

1. Celebrity Rehab: Gary Busey is fucking fantastically looney and I love it!!!! He thinks he is there to be a helper/counselor like what Dr. Drew is. That alone just cracks me up. He repeats that he is a "participant" over and over again because that is what it says on his contract. Umm, HELLO!!!! You are a "participant" in a group rehab facility dumbass. The other sad story is the model who was addicted to opiates because her mother turned them on to her. Of course Rodney King is there, he's just an alcoholic though so he is less interesting to me. And there is an American Idol reject, she too did drugs with her mom. But do you know who else is there??? Tawny Kitean!!! Plastic surgery has happened but I am warming up to her since she had something horrible happen to her and never told a soul. Check this out to see how crazy Gary Busey is:

2. Real Housewives of Atlanta: Okay, none of these girls will hold a place in my heart like the original OC gals, but they are super bitchy and I love it!!! But let's talk about Kim. She is my favorite on the show. She just doesn't give a flying fuck how she portrays herself and I love her for that! Homegirl can not sing to save her life but she still tries. I feel bad that she is no longer friends with NeNe but Sheree stepped in to be her new bff and all I have to say is watch your back Kim. Sheree looks like she would cut you with the heel of her Louboutins in a second if you cross her. But Kim, I love you, but you need to fix that mess of a wig/weave. It looks like straw and we know it's fake, and not even a good fake.

3. Intervention On Demand: Addicting. If you have On Demand, please watch Episode 68 or 69. The one with the girl that huffs the computer duster spray. Best. Episode. Ever. My friend laughs at me because I always have some wine while watching this show, especially if it's about alcoholics.

4. Laundry: I hate it, need I say more?

I am going to try to finish some more of my book tonight, but then again the season premiere of Top Chef New York comes on at 10. I don't think I will be able to restrain myself. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Okay, I still have about 200 pages to go but I am determined to read at least 100 of them tonight.

We had people over to rock out on guitar hero. Prioroties people!!! Especially when I have been challenged by an amateur. If he wants to talk shit, I will throw it right back in his face, even more so when he says he can't lose to a girl. But you know what? He lost. When will everyone just give up and accept that I am AWESOME???!!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008


I am a third of the way through my book that is over 600 pages. Hopefully I will finish it tomorrow. Wish me luck!!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

This man loves himself some Bush

Moron #1:

What a shame. Seems like he didn't pay attention while he was in school. Or watching the news. Or reading the ballot. Or he lives under a rock.

Moron #2 is this guy:

He can't even count since the cost for a stamp is 42 cents and he put 39. Maybe this is an old picture, it probably is. I still like to think of this person as an idiot not only for the obvious reason, but because he though 5 cents was enough for the "trouble" of the postal worker.

You know who wouldn't do any of these things? My Edward. I want him to bite me while we are breaking some headboards. Two more weeks BITCHES!!!!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Today sucks it me or does today totally suck balls? I have been crazy busy today with no time to breathe. I thought a lunchtime manicure would cheer me up. Nope. Assclowns did not care that i have 13 air bubbles in each nail and REFUSED to give me a refund or repolish because they were so busy (there were two whole customers there) and the fact that I paid with my card. I hate people sometimes.

I decided that I am going to go to my regular place and just buy the polish and do it myself at home tonight after my cardio max workout DVD. Pray that it doesn't make me throw up. I want to run a 5k in December so if I am going to achieve this goal I need to do cardio at least twice a day and run three times each weekend to build up my endurance. Think I can do it?

Watch the video below. It is one of the cutest things ever! Totally cheered me up.

By the way, I am chaperoning my cousins field trip to NYC next month, right before christmas, so I need some ideas of what to do. I know we are touring NBC studios but that's about it. Please leave some suggestions!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Kid is AWESOME!!!

Last night after work I took The Kid with me to vote. No line, got right in and to the poll. The officials wouldn't let my son actually touch the machine so he watched as I did. Then after we were done voting, he asked where the president was. I told him that we are electing a new one and that he is very busy and that we can see him on tv. His response...

"Well, I think if we are voting for him then he should be here to meet us."

Good point on his part. So while we are leaving he proceeds to tell the people on their way in that they need to "Be sure to vote because it's time for a change in this country." I swear I do not know where he get's this from. Okay. It's me.

So since it only took us 6 minutes to vote, I figured we would drive down to see my grandparents. On the way down we listened to the AC/DC channel so he could rock out, then listened to some Beastie Boys. As soon as we walk in to their house and get upstairs he yells perfectly "Hey Ladies, Get Funky!" It was fucking AWESOME!!! I have never been more proud! My grandmother had no clue what was going on and just went about making a sandwich.

I can not wait!!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

New election options???

I was refreshing MSNBC today while listening to XM. Everything was going great, I was rocking out while working AND catching up on the latest election news when suddenly the worst possible thing came on the radio...The Jonas Brothers!!! Who the fuck are they and why are they famous???

Naturally, I Googled them and found out that they are quite fugly, well, except for the middle one, if he would cut his hair, start lifting and stop waxing. I'm not knocking their values or anything like that, I just don't get the whole big deal about them. I tried to listen to one of their songs but I couldn't make it 45 seconds without discovering that I was nearly jabbing out my ear drum with my mechanical pencil.

Suddenly, I had an idea....

If Election Day is a day to vote people in and out of political office, why can't we do that with celebrities? I for one would like to see Miley Cyrus, the "Jo Bros" (what the kids call the Jonas Brothers, I know), Tyra Banks, Mario Lopez, Heidi & Spencer, and Criss Angel to go away, starting tomorrow. Who would you want to see gone, celebrity or not, and why?

Monday, November 3, 2008

Rock The Vote Bitches!!!

Okay everyone, tomorrow is Election Day. Get off of your asses and vote! I don't care who you vote for, just vote.

When I went to vote four years ago, my son was a little over four months old. I chose to take him with me in his car seat to cast my vote. Everyone looked at me funny for a second and then thought it was great that I was taking him. At the time, I only took him because my man wasn't home from work yet and I didn't want to get to the polls when it was super busy.

Looking back on it, I realize that even though he will never remember that, it was important for him to be there, and this year he is going with me again whether he likes it or not. I want to teach him that voting is important, that you do have a voice no matter how small you may think it is. Your one vote could be the one that makes your guy win. Could you imagine the feeling of having your candidate win by just ONE vote and knowing that one vote could have been yours? I know it seems like a stretch but weirder things have happened in this world, just look at Sarah Palin. I just love how she congratulated the city of Pittsburgh on their World Series win. Do your homework girlie!!!