Tuesday, January 13, 2009

My son is going on tour...and Whoppi wants to throw down and so do I!

After the fabulous weekend at the cabin with some dear friends, my man and I stop over to his parents to pick up little man. We get there and he greets us warmly and then suddenly grabs his coat and says "let's roll, I'm ready to get home." Okay. Since when did he turn into a pimp?

So the next morning I am taking him to school when he informs me that he has made the decision to go on tour. The conversation goes like this:

"Mommy, I have decided I am going on tour."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I play my new guitar really good, so I need to tour and rock!"

"Where exactly are you going on this tour?"

"Ummm, I don't know. Probably the kitchen, or the dining room. I would only play the acoustic in the dining room since you have to sit down. Then you could really rock when I play in my room, I'll even let you jump on my bed."

Crisis averted.

Okay, so I caught a clip of The View when Ann "whackadoo" Coulter was on and I swear, if I could have reached through the TV, I would have. I just find it amazing that Whoopi didn't bitch slap her because you know she wanted to. The clips is 8 minutes but Ann gets ripped a new one the whole time, I love it.

Not to sound like I'm all on a soapbox or anything, but WTF? I was raised by a single mother and I'm not in jail. According to her I am a single mother for not being married, so that means little man will grow up to be a rapist or in jail. Really Ann? I know tons of single mothers who are doing a damn good job with their kids. My aunt is one, my friend is one, almost all of my friends come from broken homes. I don't see them in jail. Plus, she doesn't even have kids (thank God) so she has no room to talk about how to raise them.

I know mothers at my kids school who think like her. They look at me and just because I am young and not married, say that I am the "mother of a bastard" and it's so "tragic that she's a single mother" just because I don't have a ring on my finger. They say it while I am in the same room!!!

Well ladies, sorry I didn't wait until I was 40-ish to have my first child. I will be the one having all of the fun at 40 because little man will be 18. I will still be young enough to be awesome without looking ridiculous or trying to "recapture my youth" like you all are doing right now. I have tried to be nice to you, in fact, I still do. I have never been rude, always RSVP to parties and I always acknowledge you when you are near me. What gives???

Oh, and some of you should know, your husbands have hit on me more than once, a couple even asking me out for drinks.

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