Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Failed Road Trip

I finally caught up reading some blogs this morning, and the story that the Dutchess of Kickball told of her failed vacation reminded me of a trip that my man and I took shortly after we started dating.

My man and I were only dating maybe four months when he invited me to come with him to come to Canada with him and his family at their cottage on the lake. Being half Canadian, I jumped at the chance. The only thing holding me back was spending 4 days with his family, particularly, family I had only met a handful of times. Yet, I could not resist, vacations in Canada are awesome! The people are friendly, beautiful scenery, I get to see half of my family, and french fry trucks. That's right. Instead of ice cream trucks, they have french fry trucks and it's fucking awesome!

I should have known the trip was going to start off rough as soon as I forgot you had to have your birth certificate to cross the border. So the day we are supposed to leave I have to go to the Department of Records to get another copy. After waiting two hours for them just to print the damn thing, off to Canada we went. We left Baltimore around 8:00 p.m. to make it there before dawn.

About 3 hours into the drive we make it to Binghamton, PA to stop for gas. We stop at a truck stop/Subway (sweet combo, I know) to fill up, use the restroom, and buy some junk food for the rest of the ride. I go in while he is filling up. I come back out and he asks me for the keys. The conversation then goes like this:

My man: "Can I have the keys back? We gotta go."
Me: "Why would I have the keys? I didn't drive. I am the passenger, remember?"
My man: "Uh oh, we now have a BIG problem."
Me: "What problem could we possibly have? Stop dicking around and unlock the car."
My man: "I may have locked the keys inside."

So for the next three and a half hours we sit at a truck stop while waiting for Pop-A-Lock to come help us. We told the guy we were at exit 214 or something and that we were on the PA side of Binghamton, not NY. Well, the stupid asshat went to NY even though after you cross the border, the exit numbers start over at 1. So when he hit exit 14 he called and said that he went the wrong way and didn't have time to come help us. After bribing him with $50 extra he finally came. We didn't leave the truck stop until 5 a.m. because the guy then said he couldn't help us because we have power locks. When he got the door open, he immediately held out his hand for the extra cash.

Once we got to Canada, I had a blast and fell in love with his family. Moral of the story? Always have a hide a key on your car, if you don't, you will spend some time at a dirty truck stop that sells flavored condoms for a quarter in the bathroom.

1 comment:

King of New York Hacks said...

Could have been worse. some truck stop have the condoms that arren't flavored. ;-)