Early Retirement...

Well, I busted my ass for 3 1/2 months to meet the April 15th deadline only to be laid off April 16th. It sucks but what can you do. Tonight I shall celebrate with $1 beers with some friends and not think about it. I am going to enjoy the most beautiful weekend by FINALLY putting the top down on the Jeep and cruising around. I have been stuck inside working like crazy but now that I dont have to, I won't. I have the place to myself this weekend and girls nights planned today and tomorrow. Drunken stories to follow...

If You Saw The Leprechaun Say YEAHHHHH!!!

One of my favorite news clips. If are going out tonight, be safe, no DUI's or unprotected sex. Now enjoy the clip, especially the amateur sketch.

Lily Allen Is My Alter Ego

I think Lily Allen and I were seperated at birth. Here are the reasons why:

1. We both drink, a lot, when partying.
2. We both swear like sailors.
3. I too have wanted to tell Elton John to fuck off (him, not his music), she just got the opportunity.
4. We both look smoking hot when thin.
5. When plumper we still look totally cute.
6. I watch BBC America nonstop, I feel that she does this while in the states.
7. I too would start something with Katy Perry, that girl is just so fucking annoying. You kissed a girl, get over it.
8. Her song "The Fear" is everything I say out loud anyways.
9. She seems snarky and bitchy and I have been known to be both at times.
10. I think since I watch so much BBC, that maybe I am secretly British or belong there.

Or maybe I am just a smartass who likes anything with alcohol, speaks her mind and likes British comedies. Who knows.

Winter Weather - Part 2

Dear Mother Nature,

It's March 2nd. Why do I have five inches of snow on my deck? I had a lovely weekend with weather in the mid-50's since Thursday. Then yesterday you threw a cruel curveball and dumped snow in the Northeast. It's not funny. I am now sitting at home with the kid running circles around this place because he is sick of being inside. The snow looks beautiful from our windows, but when we go outside you hit us with 40 mph winds that chill us to the bone. The only good thing about this weather is that I can now keep my wine cold on the deck, rather than taking up room in my fridge. I need to save that for the beer.

The Milf

I know...

...that I have been gone for a week. Updates to come later today. Here's a preview: had my 7 year anniversary where many drinks were consumed, registered for a 60 mile walk (yes 60 freaking miles), diets suck, and the weird shower family is back.

Crazy or Stink?

My man and I were talking in the living room last night when we hear "MOMMY!!!! GET IN HERE QUICK!!!!! HURRRRRYYYYYY!!!"

Immediately I run in there because usually the kid is a calm individual. I get in there and he pulls me down so he can whisper something to me. "Look in my closet." I look in, see nothing. "Look in the corner Mommy! It's so creepy!" I look again. Nothing. I ask him what has him so creeped out. With a concerned look he says:

"Elmo is giving me the stink eye and I don't like it. It's creeping me out and I am not a fan."

Welcome to my world.

What time is it?

It's head cold time! Since I posted those pics last week of our snow storm, mother nature played a cruel trick on us here is the Mid-Atlantic. Last Thursday it was 29 degrees, Sunday and yesterday it got up to 58. WTF! Now as I type this, I have to keep taking breaks so I wont sneeze on my computer. It's horrible because they come out of no where and are violently strong.

On the up side, while the weekend was gorgeous, I took the little man for his swim lesson and he rocked it! Now he can go underwater to pick up the rings (this is huge progress for him considering he hates dunking his head while bathing). While we were watching his lesson, my man and I noticed something quite odd.

The class that was before little man's was done by 15 minutes when we noticed a family hanging out at the rinse off showers at the end of the room, conveniently at the end my son has his lesson. Normal people go there to get the chlorine off then proceed on their merry way. Not this family.

The family consisted of a mother and her three kids which I am guessing their ages to be 12, 8 and 3. We are watching little mans lesson and look over to the 3 year old being bathed at the showers. Bathed. In full view of everyone. The mother had a basket of body wash, loofahs, shampoo, you know, stuff for a shower inside a curtain. But did she care? Nope.

Normally I dont mind naked kids, it's a pool, it happens, but I do mind her washing her sons ass crack in front of me. Like bend over and let me get in there to scrub kind of washing. There are locker rooms with showers and her little boy can go in there since he is under the age of 6. She should have washed his ass in there. Oh, and while we are on the topic of asses, she washed hers there too along with other things down there. She tried to fool us by sticking her hands in her shorts to conceal this, but when there are open observation windows all around plus wet shorts that stick to everything, it's kind of hard to hide that.

WTF!!!

Do you think this woman realized what she just said???