I Hate Miley But Love Tequila

In the news today, it is reported that Miley Cyrus is writing an autobiography to be titled "Miles To Go" that chronicles her preteen life in Tennessee. Give me a fucking break. She has the life I dream of. I would love to be 16, have a smoking hot boyfriend who just happens to be an underwear model, live in a house that I paid for, and have my biggest problem be that I got a hand-me-down Porsche. Oh the trauma she must face! Hand-me-down Porsche? Yes please!

In light of this news, it made me think about what I would write in my autobiography (if I were to do so). I immediately thought about tequila and all of the great times we have had together.

One instance is that a girlfriend and I went over to play drinking games at a guy friends house (I had a TON of guy friends). On this particular evening, there was only four of us there, two boys, two girls. What do we do? Drink and decide play strip poker of course!

Somehow tequila came out, the game turned to truth or dare once I was down to my matching bra and undies (panties sounds creepy to me and thank goodness it was not a thong!) and my friend was I think topless or close to it. It was my turn and I picked dare. I was dared to run down the entire street in all of my half naked glory while screaming "I LOVE TEQUILA" at 3:15 a.m. in the residential neighborhood we were in.

Not one to ever back down from a dare, I did it. I was allowed to put on shoes but nothing else. Some neighbors were pissed, some laughed and I even got a beer handed to me along my run back by what I now remember was the creepy old man in that 'hood. I had forgotten all about this little incident until the girl that was with me that night reminded me. Suddenly the memory came flooding back. I couldn't help but smile and thank God that I did not puke that night.

While pondering this fun night, I remembered that in my heavy party days, I carried my video camera everywhere. I taped so much stuff that I don't remember. Once I viewed the tapes, the flashbacks came and warmed my soul. It reminded me of life BC (before child), before my man, where the biggest worry I had was a car payment. I had the greatest times, whether they were at a frat party at Maryland or sitting and having a beer on someone's back porch.

I watch my son now, and think how lucky he is. He has no clue what rent is. His biggest responsiblity is cleaning his room. I just hope he had as much fun as I did, and still do.