What time is it?

It's head cold time! Since I posted those pics last week of our snow storm, mother nature played a cruel trick on us here is the Mid-Atlantic. Last Thursday it was 29 degrees, Sunday and yesterday it got up to 58. WTF! Now as I type this, I have to keep taking breaks so I wont sneeze on my computer. It's horrible because they come out of no where and are violently strong.

On the up side, while the weekend was gorgeous, I took the little man for his swim lesson and he rocked it! Now he can go underwater to pick up the rings (this is huge progress for him considering he hates dunking his head while bathing). While we were watching his lesson, my man and I noticed something quite odd.

The class that was before little man's was done by 15 minutes when we noticed a family hanging out at the rinse off showers at the end of the room, conveniently at the end my son has his lesson. Normal people go there to get the chlorine off then proceed on their merry way. Not this family.

The family consisted of a mother and her three kids which I am guessing their ages to be 12, 8 and 3. We are watching little mans lesson and look over to the 3 year old being bathed at the showers. Bathed. In full view of everyone. The mother had a basket of body wash, loofahs, shampoo, you know, stuff for a shower inside a curtain. But did she care? Nope.

Normally I dont mind naked kids, it's a pool, it happens, but I do mind her washing her sons ass crack in front of me. Like bend over and let me get in there to scrub kind of washing. There are locker rooms with showers and her little boy can go in there since he is under the age of 6. She should have washed his ass in there. Oh, and while we are on the topic of asses, she washed hers there too along with other things down there. She tried to fool us by sticking her hands in her shorts to conceal this, but when there are open observation windows all around plus wet shorts that stick to everything, it's kind of hard to hide that.

Bad Monday

You know Monday is bad when you decide that cake with a side of Doritos is a perfectly good breakfast. Lunch was BLT with jalapeno cheetos, Dinner was a chicken pot pie with a beer. It was a rough day needless to say.

Well, my man left for the South on Sunday morning and won't be home until Saturday night. It turns out that I am hosting a full on Super Bowl party (GO STEELERS!!!) so this week I am trying to get the house super clean and organized. That way I can rearrange the living room so I have enough seating for everyone. Who knows if I will or not, I have a feeling some people might be standing.

Here in B-More we now have a Winter Storm Warning. They are saying anywhere from 3-6 inches of snow then some freezing rain on top of that. And of course I had to go to the grocery store like all of the other crazy people to stock up. Why do I always run out of food right before snow comes? Mother nature has a cruel sense of humor.

Oh, I did finally get Dance Dance Revolution for the 360 so you know I will be trying that tonight. I figured it would be cardio I could do at home and to make it more fun. I am getting burned out on the DVD's and it is too cold to run outside this time of year. Wish me luck!

WTF!!!

Do you think this woman realized what she just said???

My son is going on tour...and Whoppi wants to throw down and so do I!

After the fabulous weekend at the cabin with some dear friends, my man and I stop over to his parents to pick up little man. We get there and he greets us warmly and then suddenly grabs his coat and says "let's roll, I'm ready to get home." Okay. Since when did he turn into a pimp?

So the next morning I am taking him to school when he informs me that he has made the decision to go on tour. The conversation goes like this:

"Mommy, I have decided I am going on tour."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I play my new guitar really good, so I need to tour and rock!"

"Where exactly are you going on this tour?"

"Ummm, I don't know. Probably the kitchen, or the dining room. I would only play the acoustic in the dining room since you have to sit down. Then you could really rock when I play in my room, I'll even let you jump on my bed."

Crisis averted.


Okay, so I caught a clip of The View when Ann "whackadoo" Coulter was on and I swear, if I could have reached through the TV, I would have. I just find it amazing that Whoopi didn't bitch slap her because you know she wanted to. The clips is 8 minutes but Ann gets ripped a new one the whole time, I love it.



Not to sound like I'm all on a soapbox or anything, but WTF? I was raised by a single mother and I'm not in jail. According to her I am a single mother for not being married, so that means little man will grow up to be a rapist or in jail. Really Ann? I know tons of single mothers who are doing a damn good job with their kids. My aunt is one, my friend is one, almost all of my friends come from broken homes. I don't see them in jail. Plus, she doesn't even have kids (thank God) so she has no room to talk about how to raise them.

I know mothers at my kids school who think like her. They look at me and just because I am young and not married, say that I am the "mother of a bastard" and it's so "tragic that she's a single mother" just because I don't have a ring on my finger. They say it while I am in the same room!!!

Well ladies, sorry I didn't wait until I was 40-ish to have my first child. I will be the one having all of the fun at 40 because little man will be 18. I will still be young enough to be awesome without looking ridiculous or trying to "recapture my youth" like you all are doing right now. I have tried to be nice to you, in fact, I still do. I have never been rude, always RSVP to parties and I always acknowledge you when you are near me. What gives???

Oh, and some of you should know, your husbands have hit on me more than once, a couple even asking me out for drinks.

Bacon'd

I am recovering from the weekend. There was beer pong, vodka, snow, vodka, snow and turkey. Therefore, Kevin Bacon is doing my work for me today.

He totally gets the joke and I love it! My new phrase is "You just got Bacon'd!!!!" Enjoy.

BACON'D! by Kevin Bacon

Have Crap TV, Will Watch

Yeah, I know. I have been gone for a couple of days. I know you missed me, it's okay. Truth is I have had a ton of meetings at work this week and all of my shows are new again! Thank goodness. Have you seen the whorefest that is Bret Michaels Rock of Love Bus? Why do I watch such crap? And no, any season of Real Housewives (or anything on Bravo for that matter) is not crap. So there, I have neglected you for reality TV.

But I did find one interesting thing on the local news. If any of you readers live in B-more, you are familiar with WJZ's segment where someone local sings Manic Monday on Monday mornings (in case you didn't get when they did this). May I introduce you to Dale from Canton. The video is over 5 minutes long but I guarantee it is totally worth it. I heart him and I want him to be my new bff. Any man that can wear a Madonna t-shirt is alright by me, in fact, he's AWESOME!!!

Okay, since I neglected you for a couple of days, here is a funny story about the kid. Remember the story that I told you about him painting with poo? Well, he was in the bath the other night. While he was in there I was cleaning up something in the living room and I hear "Mommy, I have a surprise for you!" I asked what it was and he very excitedly said "I wrote you a note on my bathtub!" I had a flashback and almost screamed in horror. I run into the bathroom to see "I heart Mommy" (with an actual heart) written in hot pink with crayons you take in the tub with you. I had forgotten that I had given them to him for Christmas. Panic attack gone. Glass of wine consumed. Fast.

Oh yeah, my man is leaving for GA in two weeks for work. He will be gone for two weeks, home for two weeks, and repeat this cycle for up to a year. Any ideas on how I can entertain myself while he is away? I think the first week will be alright but I am not sure how the second week will go. We have been together almost 7 years and the longest we have ever been apart is 4 days. I don't think I am going to like him being gone.

Throwback Thursday

This gem is circa 1992, courtesy of the El Paso PD. Nothing like some fake rap to reach the OG's. Enjoy.

Puppet of terror

Don't hate me because I think that this is HILARIOUS!