My son is going on tour...and Whoppi wants to throw down and so do I!

After the fabulous weekend at the cabin with some dear friends, my man and I stop over to his parents to pick up little man. We get there and he greets us warmly and then suddenly grabs his coat and says "let's roll, I'm ready to get home." Okay. Since when did he turn into a pimp?

So the next morning I am taking him to school when he informs me that he has made the decision to go on tour. The conversation goes like this:

"Mommy, I have decided I am going on tour."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I play my new guitar really good, so I need to tour and rock!"

"Where exactly are you going on this tour?"

"Ummm, I don't know. Probably the kitchen, or the dining room. I would only play the acoustic in the dining room since you have to sit down. Then you could really rock when I play in my room, I'll even let you jump on my bed."

Crisis averted.


Okay, so I caught a clip of The View when Ann "whackadoo" Coulter was on and I swear, if I could have reached through the TV, I would have. I just find it amazing that Whoopi didn't bitch slap her because you know she wanted to. The clips is 8 minutes but Ann gets ripped a new one the whole time, I love it.



Not to sound like I'm all on a soapbox or anything, but WTF? I was raised by a single mother and I'm not in jail. According to her I am a single mother for not being married, so that means little man will grow up to be a rapist or in jail. Really Ann? I know tons of single mothers who are doing a damn good job with their kids. My aunt is one, my friend is one, almost all of my friends come from broken homes. I don't see them in jail. Plus, she doesn't even have kids (thank God) so she has no room to talk about how to raise them.

I know mothers at my kids school who think like her. They look at me and just because I am young and not married, say that I am the "mother of a bastard" and it's so "tragic that she's a single mother" just because I don't have a ring on my finger. They say it while I am in the same room!!!

Well ladies, sorry I didn't wait until I was 40-ish to have my first child. I will be the one having all of the fun at 40 because little man will be 18. I will still be young enough to be awesome without looking ridiculous or trying to "recapture my youth" like you all are doing right now. I have tried to be nice to you, in fact, I still do. I have never been rude, always RSVP to parties and I always acknowledge you when you are near me. What gives???

Oh, and some of you should know, your husbands have hit on me more than once, a couple even asking me out for drinks.

Update

Okay, I still have about 200 pages to go but I am determined to read at least 100 of them tonight.

We had people over to rock out on guitar hero. Prioroties people!!! Especially when I have been challenged by an amateur. If he wants to talk shit, I will throw it right back in his face, even more so when he says he can't lose to a girl. But you know what? He lost. When will everyone just give up and accept that I am AWESOME???!!!

This man loves himself some Bush

Moron #1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQVP2BV9LP0

What a shame. Seems like he didn't pay attention while he was in school. Or watching the news. Or reading the ballot. Or he lives under a rock.

Moron #2 is this guy:



He can't even count since the cost for a stamp is 42 cents and he put 39. Maybe this is an old picture, it probably is. I still like to think of this person as an idiot not only for the obvious reason, but because he though 5 cents was enough for the "trouble" of the postal worker.

You know who wouldn't do any of these things? My Edward. I want him to bite me while we are breaking some headboards. Two more weeks BITCHES!!!!

New election options???

I was refreshing MSNBC today while listening to XM. Everything was going great, I was rocking out while working AND catching up on the latest election news when suddenly the worst possible thing came on the radio...The Jonas Brothers!!! Who the fuck are they and why are they famous???

Naturally, I Googled them and found out that they are quite fugly, well, except for the middle one, if he would cut his hair, start lifting and stop waxing. I'm not knocking their values or anything like that, I just don't get the whole big deal about them. I tried to listen to one of their songs but I couldn't make it 45 seconds without discovering that I was nearly jabbing out my ear drum with my mechanical pencil.

Suddenly, I had an idea....

If Election Day is a day to vote people in and out of political office, why can't we do that with celebrities? I for one would like to see Miley Cyrus, the "Jo Bros" (what the kids call the Jonas Brothers, I know), Tyra Banks, Mario Lopez, Heidi & Spencer, and Criss Angel to go away, starting tomorrow. Who would you want to see gone, celebrity or not, and why?

I'm such a slacker...

Okay, no pics of the beer bottle costume because my camera died. I will see if I can get one from one of the people there. I will tell you that my friend and I each took out singles and he danced in the costume. I believe the dances that were done were: the sprinkler, running man, disco, cabbage patch and an attempt at the worm. Notice I only said attempt. After a few beers the worm is not the greatest idea.

I did however go camping last weekend for a charity off road day in the Jeep. Crawl for the Cure was awesome and our group came in second for total funds raised. A big thank you goes out to all of you that support any cause you see worthy! Hopefully one day there won't be any diseases or cancer.

Sorry my posts have been sparse lately, I am such a slacker. It also didn't help that we have had crazy deadlines here at work, which is really the reason why I have not posted anything in a while.

I almost forgot, I possibly made a love connection at the party I threw. I invited my newly single BFF and my best guy friend and they totally hit it off. Since then they have gone out on a couple of dates!!! YAY ME!

Since both of them are basically made for each other, I knew that they would try to pull some prank the day after their first date. She tried telling me that instead of going to a restaurant for dinner, he took her to Quizno's. I would have believed it if they both weren't emailing me all day with the exact same questions two minutes apart. Amateurs.

I literally got this from her at 2:13, "should I give him a chance to redeem himself? He seems like a really great guy!" and then this from him at 2:17, "do you think that there is any way I can redeem myself? You know I am a great guy and normally would not have done anything like that, money's just tight right now." I didn't let them know that I knew what was going on, I played into it just to see what other cheesy lines I could pull from them.

So after 7 that night she calls me with him on 3-way and says she has a confession. So I said "Oh, you mean the one about him not really taking you to Quizno's? Yeah, I know. Next time both of you shouldn't email me with the exact same lines." They were pissed that I knew but half expected it. I mean, who do they think they are kidding?

Nice try bitches!!!