I'm back

Okay, I have been gone a LONG time and I understand if you are mad.

Quick synopsis:

New Job
Family health issues
Kid turned 5
We acquired a goldfish as a party favor
The cat ate ribbon
Hippies were everywhere

I shall discuss all of these stories in a new post tonight. I have been trying to catch up on all of your blogs, so far I am almost done. Please be patient with me!

The MILF

Early Retirement...

Well, I busted my ass for 3 1/2 months to meet the April 15th deadline only to be laid off April 16th. It sucks but what can you do. Tonight I shall celebrate with $1 beers with some friends and not think about it. I am going to enjoy the most beautiful weekend by FINALLY putting the top down on the Jeep and cruising around. I have been stuck inside working like crazy but now that I dont have to, I won't. I have the place to myself this weekend and girls nights planned today and tomorrow. Drunken stories to follow...

March Madness + Tax Season = Stress Drinking

I am borderline obsessed with college basketball. March Madness is the greatest time of year for me. My man loves football like it's his job, and doesn't get how I can watch basketball for hours on end. I tried to tell him that it is pretty easy, especially with alcohol involved. But then there are the times that I have entered bracket pools and the teams I have picked either lose, or play the closest game EVER. When this happens, I tend to drink more, and by more, I mean that the drinks suddenly become more vodka, less mixer.

Like for instance, if I was drinking right now, I would be having about 3 shots to cope with UCLA's lack of skills. (It's 11-23 Villanova as I type this) When this happens, I tend to say fuck a lot more than normal, which means that I say fuck every other word instead of every third. It is also the middle of tax season and work is insane.

Oh, and my son has taken it upon himself to speak with a British accent. Conversations have been quite interesting around here.

If You Saw The Leprechaun Say YEAHHHHH!!!

One of my favorite news clips. If are going out tonight, be safe, no DUI's or unprotected sex. Now enjoy the clip, especially the amateur sketch.

Congratulations!!!

I just want to announce that our friends Emily & Shawn just welcomed their new baby girl into the world today. I will be going to see her tonight, and hopefully, will get some more pics, but for now, enjoy the pic that was sent to me.

I Hate Miley But Love Tequila

In the news today, it is reported that Miley Cyrus is writing an autobiography to be titled "Miles To Go" that chronicles her preteen life in Tennessee. Give me a fucking break. She has the life I dream of. I would love to be 16, have a smoking hot boyfriend who just happens to be an underwear model, live in a house that I paid for, and have my biggest problem be that I got a hand-me-down Porsche. Oh the trauma she must face! Hand-me-down Porsche? Yes please!

In light of this news, it made me think about what I would write in my autobiography (if I were to do so). I immediately thought about tequila and all of the great times we have had together.

One instance is that a girlfriend and I went over to play drinking games at a guy friends house (I had a TON of guy friends). On this particular evening, there was only four of us there, two boys, two girls. What do we do? Drink and decide play strip poker of course!

Somehow tequila came out, the game turned to truth or dare once I was down to my matching bra and undies (panties sounds creepy to me and thank goodness it was not a thong!) and my friend was I think topless or close to it. It was my turn and I picked dare. I was dared to run down the entire street in all of my half naked glory while screaming "I LOVE TEQUILA" at 3:15 a.m. in the residential neighborhood we were in.

Not one to ever back down from a dare, I did it. I was allowed to put on shoes but nothing else. Some neighbors were pissed, some laughed and I even got a beer handed to me along my run back by what I now remember was the creepy old man in that 'hood. I had forgotten all about this little incident until the girl that was with me that night reminded me. Suddenly the memory came flooding back. I couldn't help but smile and thank God that I did not puke that night.

While pondering this fun night, I remembered that in my heavy party days, I carried my video camera everywhere. I taped so much stuff that I don't remember. Once I viewed the tapes, the flashbacks came and warmed my soul. It reminded me of life BC (before child), before my man, where the biggest worry I had was a car payment. I had the greatest times, whether they were at a frat party at Maryland or sitting and having a beer on someone's back porch.

I watch my son now, and think how lucky he is. He has no clue what rent is. His biggest responsiblity is cleaning his room. I just hope he had as much fun as I did, and still do.

Lily Allen Is My Alter Ego

I think Lily Allen and I were seperated at birth. Here are the reasons why:

1. We both drink, a lot, when partying.
2. We both swear like sailors.
3. I too have wanted to tell Elton John to fuck off (him, not his music), she just got the opportunity.
4. We both look smoking hot when thin.
5. When plumper we still look totally cute.
6. I watch BBC America nonstop, I feel that she does this while in the states.
7. I too would start something with Katy Perry, that girl is just so fucking annoying. You kissed a girl, get over it.
8. Her song "The Fear" is everything I say out loud anyways.
9. She seems snarky and bitchy and I have been known to be both at times.
10. I think since I watch so much BBC, that maybe I am secretly British or belong there.

Or maybe I am just a smartass who likes anything with alcohol, speaks her mind and likes British comedies. Who knows.